Very funny Bleach questions?

Please answer all of these questions? 1) What would happen if someone jacks Kesuke's hat? 2) Renji gobbing up everyone in Karakura town's food? 3) If Ichigo's dad kicks him in the jewels? 4) If Rangiku got plastic surgery? 5) If Hitsguya got elevator shoes (like in Ed, Edd, n, Eddy) but they malfunctioned and sends him to Outer space? 6) If Hanataro wet his pants if he saw Ichigo in his Bankai form? 7) If everyone in Ichigo's classroom called Chad the racist Mexican word?